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Seeing as Coleman posted an article highlighting the the best players of the week, I thought it would only be best to highlight the worst players of the week.  Congrats to the players below for winning the first of our weekly NFL Razzies!:

Donovan McNabb, the John Travolta of Week 1

Battlefield Earth Award (Worst NFL Player of the week): Donovan McNabb, QB, Minnesota

  • How could the award for worst player of the week not be named after Battlefield Earth?  And how could Donovan McNabb not win the award for worst player of the week?  It wasn’t even close.  After going 7/15 for only 39….THIRTY NINE! (in a whole game!) yards and one pick, he earned this trophy.

Episode I: Phantom Menace Award (Worst Offensive Player of the week)- Matt Cassel, QB, Kansas City

  • Yes, the name is simple.  Jar Jar Binks is one of the most offensive characters of the last decade, so the worst offensive players get to share the spotlight with him.  This week, my award goes to Matt Cassel.  Originally I thought it would go to Chris Johnson and his new mega-contract, which paid off for Tenessee when he ran 9 times for 27 yards.  Alas, Cassel decided he liked the Phantom Menace, and played accordingly.  Completing 22/36 passes is not bad…completing them for only 119 yards is.  When you throw 1 pick and average 3.3 yards per throw, well, your play has been offensive.

Indy! Look out! It's Shia LaBeouf coming to ruin your career!

Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Crystal Skull Award (Worst Defensive Player of the Week)- Arizona Cardinals Secondary

  • If I had to pick one, it may just be Patrick Peterson, but this whole secondary was outright miserable.  Cam Newton, a rookie in his first game, burns you for over 400 yards?  You had me yelling at the TV screen the same way I did when those aliens showed up in Temple of the Crystal Skull.  Your play just made no sense.  Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie must be laughing his ass off right now.

M. Night Shyamalan Award (Most Underwhelming Player or Team of the Week)- Atlanta Falcons Offense

  • So many M. Night Shyamalan movies, so many stupid wastes of time.  The Falcons-Bears game wasn’t a waste of my time, but not because of how the Falcons played.  The Falcons moved the ball well, but could not put the ball in the end zone and turned it over 3 times.  In the same bad twist that is in every Shyamalan movie, the only Falcons TD came from the defense.  Not how you want to start a ‘Super Bowl or bust’ season, Atlanta.

Uwe Boll Award (Worst Coaching of the Week)- John Fox

  • For those who don’t know, Uwe Boll may be the worst director on Earth.  See any of his movies, and you will agree.  I was tempted to give this award to John Sparano after the Miami-New England game…but then the Denver-Oakland game came on.  In order to beat Oakland, the formula is simple.  You a) stop Darren McFadden and b) establish your own run game to control the clock and keep the pass-rush focused defense modest.  John Fox did neither of these.  He went back to the Josh McDaniels days of old, with 47 passing attempts to 12 rushing attempts, on one of Orton’s worse days.  On defense, they did not learn a thing from last season.  For some awful game-planning and in-game decisions, Mr. Fox, you win the Uwe Boll Award.

    Yea, the picture says it all...